Politics Is Applesauce.
- Will Rogers
Heroing Is One Of The Shortest-Lived Professions There Is.
I Don’t Make Jokes. I Just Watch The Government And Report The Facts.
The Only Time People Dislike Gossip Is When You Gossip About Them.
The More You Read And Observe About This Politics Thing, You Got To Admit That Each Party Is Worse Than The Other. The One That’s Out Always Looks The Best.
For The American People Are A Very Generous People And Will Forgive Almost Any Weakness, With The Possible Exception Of Stupidity.
There Is Nothing As Stupid As An Educated Man If You Get Him Off The Thing He Was Educated In.
Rumor Travels Faster, But It Don’t Stay Put As Long As Truth.
Half Our Life Is Spent Trying To Find Something To Do With The Time We Have Rushed Through Life Trying To Save.
We Can’t All Be Heroes Because Somebody Has To Sit On The Curb And Clap As They Go By.
This Country Has Come To Feel The Same When Congress Is In Session As When The Baby Gets Hold Of A Hammer.
I Have Always Noticed That People Will Never Laugh At Anything That Is Not Based On Truth.
Too Many People Spend Money They Haven’t Earned, To Buy Things They Don’t Want, To Impress People They Don’t Like
Live In Such A Way That You Would Not Be Ashamed To Sell Your Parrot To The Town Gossip.
You Can’t Say That Civilization Don’t Advance, However, For In Every War They Kill You In A New Way.
That’s The Trouble With A Politician’s Life-Somebody Is Always Interrupting It With An Election.
Take The Diplomacy Out Of War And The Thing Would Fall Flat In A Week.
Communism Is Like Prohibition, It’s A Good Idea But It Won’t Work.
I’m Not A Real Movie Star. I’ve Still Got The Same Wife I Started Out With Twenty-Eight Years Ago.
On Account Of Being A Democracy And Run By The People, We Are The Only Nation In The World That Has To Keep A Government Four Years, No Matter What It Does.
The Income Tax Has Made More Liars Out Of The American People Than Golf Has.
There’s The One Thing No Nation Can Ever Accuse Us Of And That Is Secret Diplomacy. Our Foreign Are An Open Book, Generally A Check Book.
Even If You’re On The Right Track, You’ll Get Run Over If You Just Sit There
There’s No Trick To Being A Humorist When You Have The Whole Government Working For You.
You Know Everybody Is Ignorant, Only On Different Subjects.
An Ignorant Person Is One Who Doesn’t Know What You Have Just Found Out.
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