A Wise Man Once Said...

This Does Not Make The Authors Of Those Narratives Liars; It Makes Them Servants Of Fallible Human Memory And Perception.

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I Do Not Speak To Thee In Drink But In Tears, Not In Pleasure But In Passion, Not In Words Only, But In Woes Also.

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If You Would Thoroughly Know Anything, Teach It To Others.

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Attempt Easy Tasks As If They Were Difficult, And Difficult As If They Were Easy; In The One Case That Confidence May Not Fall Asleep, In The Other That It May Not Be Dismayed.

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When You Give Each Other Everything, It Becomes An Even Trade. Each Wins All.

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Repetition Is The Death Of Art.

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There Is Nothing Wrong With America That Cannot Be Cured By What Is Right With America.

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Don’t Throw Away The Old Bucket Until You Know Whether The New One Holds Water.

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Whether You Think That You Can, Or That You Can’t, You Are Usually Right

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The Best Ideas Are Common Property.

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A Cynic Is Not Merely One Who Reads Bitter Lessons From The Past, He Is One Who Is Prematurely Disappointed In The Future.

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Books Are The Quietest And Most Constant Of Friends; They Are The Most Accessible And Wisest Of Counsellors, And The Most Patient Of Teachers.

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Saying What We Think Gives Us A Wider Conversational Range Than Saying What We Know.

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We Made A Solemn Vow Not To Take Any Job Outside Of Show Business. We Borrowed Money From Parents And Friends, Rather Than Take That Lethal Job Waiting Tables. This Forced Us To Take Any Job Offered To Us. Anything. We Once Did A Show In The Middle Of The Benjamin Franklin Parkway In Philadelphia As Part Of A Fashion Show On A Hot July Night While All Around Our Stage, A Race-Riot Was Fully Underway. That’s How Serious We Were About Our Vow.

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Guard Your Honor. Let Your Reputation Fall Where It Will. And Outlive The Bastards.

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What If Nothing Exists And We’re All In Somebody’s Dream? Or What’s Worse, What If Only That Fat Guy In The Third Row Exists?

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The Only Time I Ever Really Suffered In Body Or Mind, The Only Time That I Ever Fancied Myself Unwell, Or Had Any Ideas Of Danger, Was The Winter That I Passed By Myself. As Long As We Could Be Together, Nothing Ever Ailed Me, And I Never Met With The Smallest Inconvenience.

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First Secure An Independent Income, Then Practice Virtue.

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Next To Trying And Winning, The Best Thing Is Trying And Failing.

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Make All You Can, Save All You Can, Give All You Can.

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The Right Things To Do Are Those That Keep Our Violence In Abeyance; The Wrong Things Are Those That Bring It To The Fore.

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If Winter Is Slumber And Spring Is Birth, And Summer Is Life, Then Autumn Rounds Out To Be Reflection. It’s A Time Of Year When The Leaves Are Down And The Harvest Is In And The Perennials Are Gone. Mother Earth Just Closed Up The Drapes On Another Year And It’s Time To Reflect On What’s Come Before.

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Complaining Is Good For You As Long As You’re Not Complaining To The Person You’re Complaining About.

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The Strongest, Most Generous, And Proudest Of All Virtues Is True Courage.

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It Is The Province Of Knowledge To Speak And It Is The Privilege Of Wisdom To Listen.

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Be Careful — With Quotations, You Can Damn Anything.

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The Reason People Find It So Hard To Be Happy Is That They Always See The Past Better Than It Was, The Present Worse Than It Is, And The Future Less Resolved Than It Will Be

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War May Sometimes Be A Necessary Evil. But No Matter How Necessary, It Is Always An Evil, Never A Good. We Will Not Learn How To Live Together In Peace By Killing Each Other’s Children.

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I Am An Old Man, But In Many Senses A Very Young Man. And This Is What I Want You To Be, Young, Young All Your Life.

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The Big Thieves Hang The Little Ones.

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Examine What Is Said, Not Him Who Speaks.

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Burn The Candles, Use The Nice Sheets, Wear The Fancy Lingerie. Don’t Save It For A Special Occasion. Today Is Special.

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Lying Increases The Creative Faculties, Expands The Ego, And Lessens The Frictions Of Social Contacts.

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Pride Sullies The Noblest Character.

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It Is By Acts And Not By Ideas That People Live.

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Grief Can Take Care Of Itself; But To Get The Full Value Of A Joy You Must Have Someone To Divide It With.

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I Have A Right To My Anger, And I Don’t Want Anybody Telling Me I Shouldn’t Be, That It’s Not Nice To Be, And That Something’s Wrong With Me Because I Get Angry.

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Kindred Spirits Are Not So Scarce As I Used To Think. It’s Splendid To Find Out There Are So Many Of Them In The World.

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Fortune Does Not Change Men, It Unmasks Them.

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The Real Voyage Of Discovery Consists Not In Seeking New Landscapes But In Having New Eyes.

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If You Would Be Wealthy, Think Of Saving As Well As Getting.

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Don’t Compare Your Life To Others. You Have No Idea What Their Journey Is All About.

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Money Can’t Buy Happiness, But Neither Can Poverty.

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Indeed, History Is Nothing More Than A Tableau Of Crimes And Misfortunes.

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Communism Is Like One Big Phone Company.

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The Mind’s First Step To Self-Awareness Must Be Through The Body.

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That’s The Great Thing About Being In The Third Grade. If You’ve Got One Polysyllabic Adjective, Everyone Thinks You’re A Genius.

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Never Try To Reason The Prejudice Out Of A Man. It Was Not Reasoned Into Him, And Cannot Be Reasoned Out.

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The Wise Are Instructed By Reason; Ordinary Minds By Experience; The Stupid, By Necessity; And Brutes By Instinct.

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Youth is beauty, even in cattle.

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