Go Through Your Phone Book, Call People And Ask Them To Drive You To The Airport. The Ones Who Will Drive You Are Your True Friends. The Rest Aren’t Bad People; They’re Just Acquaintances.
- Jay Leno
Now There Are More Overweight People In America Than Average-Weight People. So Overweight People Are Now Average. Which Means You’ve Met Your New Year’s Resolution.
If God Had Wanted Us To Vote, He Would Have Given Us Candidates.
I Went Into A Mcdonald’s Yesterday And Said, ‘I’d Like Some Fries.’ The Girl At The Counter Said, ‘Would You Like Some Fries With That?’
You Cannot Be Mad At Somebody Who Makes You Laugh – It’s As Simple As That.
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